Skip to main content

From College Admissions to Life Lessons: What Really Matters

On June 16, I had the privilege of moderating the education roundtable at the first anniversary celebration of the North American Alumni Association of BISU. It was a day of learning for me, where experts in finance, education, and immigration shared insights shaped by both data and decades of experience. I walked away with two realizations: one about what’s changing in college admissions—and one about what stays constant in life.

The New Landscape of College Admissions

One theme emerged clearly from our roundtable: today’s college admissions process is more competitive and complex than ever. High school students are applying to more schools, many through early decision or early action. Colleges, meanwhile, face increasing financial pressures and are admitting more first-generation students—adding layers of unpredictability to the process.

Yet one thing hasn’t changed: what ultimately matters most—strong academics, meaningful extracurriculars, and clear character.

During the discussion, a particularly thought-provoking moment came when two education professionals described their approaches to working with new families. An American educator said, “We pre-screen students—because students are the key.” But another, whose students are mostly Asian, said, “We pre-screen parents—because parents are the key.”

This contrast reflects two distinct cultural frameworks. In one, the student is the primary agent of change, expected to take initiative and show independence. In the other, the parent plays a central role, shaping strategy and making major decisions.

Both perspectives hold truth. But the gap between them reveals a deeper question: how do we nurture self-motivated learners in cultures where parental control often overshadows personal agency?

I believe that in the long run, students must be in the driver’s seat, steering their own journey. That’s how genuine passion is cultivated—and that’s exactly what admissions officers (AOs) are looking for.

AOs don’t want résumés packed with disconnected accomplishments. They want to see authenticity, focus, and growth. As one speaker put it, “Show me your passion project. Show me how you learned to lead while completing it. Show me you're not afraid to step outside your comfort zone.”

Here are a few key takeaways:

  • Declare a mission, not just a major. College is not the end goal—it’s part of the journey.

  • Start a blog. Use it to document your evolving interests and personal growth.

  • Choose your own summer. Don’t just take another online course. Do something real.

  • Don’t force it. Let your path unfold naturally—水到渠成 (when water flows, a channel forms).

  • Be self-motivated. AOs value students who take initiative, who learn on their own, who are genuinely curious.

As one speaker beautifully said, “Don’t just teach me—involve me.” Learning today is no longer passive. It’s collaborative, experiential, and driven by the student.

From College Dreams to Life’s Priorities

Later, while catching up with a college friend, he mentioned that his wife was planning to upgrade their already-spacious home to an even larger one. Inwardly I thought: Isn’t this the time in life when we should be doing the opposite?

As we reach a certain stage in life, instead of adding more—perhaps we should do more subtracting. Not accumulating more possessions, but let go what we no longer need. Not material quantity but life quality.

Subtraction means more clarity and freedom. It lightens our load, leaving us more space and time for new experiences, for people we care, for who we’re becoming and for the intangible legacy that we care to leave behind. After all, the most enduring things in life are not things at all.

In education, as in life, it's about building a life. And at some point, we build best by letting go and using least.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Rhetoric of Collapse: How The NYT Frames China for American Eyes

Yesterday, I read a New York Times article written by a Chinese contributor. I was curious:  What made this one acceptable for publication? It opened with this line: “Two Chinas inhabit the American imagination: One is a technology and manufacturing superpower poised to lead the world. The other is an economy that’s on the verge of collapse.” At first glance, the author appears to structure her piece around this duality—a balanced portrayal of “two Chinas.” But beneath that seemingly neutral framing lies a clear agenda:  to dismantle the myth of an unstoppable China by amplifying China's weaknesses and problems . The imbalance presentation becomes obvious through  tone and content distribution : 1. The "Hopeful China" (~20–25% of the article)  A brief survey of China’s tech rise: Mentions of DeepSeek, BYD, Huawei, high-speed rail, solar panels, EVs, and robotics. A quote from Jensen Huang claiming China is “not behind” the U.S. in AI. Anecdotes about resilient compan...
Post a Comment
Read more

“Mom, where are you? Why did you abandon me?” A mother’s reflection on work, sacrifice, and the narrow window of childhood

In 2002, I was laid off when our entire team was let go during Sprint’s massive outsourcing drive. Around that time, I received several contract job offers from other parts of the country. But taking any of them would mean going alone—leaving behind my young children and the rest of my family. My mother in China couldn’t understand my choice to stay home. To her generation, a job is never something you turn down—especially when mouths need feeding. But I couldn’t shake off a simple question: What would it mean for my children to grow up without their mother during their most vulnerable years? A friend of mine, who was laid off at the same time, took a different path. She moved to Florida alone for work. Years later, her son revealed what he went through in her absence. As a child, he would wander out alone in the evenings, crying and calling into the dark, “Mom, where are you? Why did you abandon me?” His words were both heartbreaking and haunting, even now, whenever I think of it, I f...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Price of Friendship, The Value of Self

Saturday, May 3rd, 2025 On May 1st, my daughter biked 15 miles from Brooklyn to our place in Oakland Gardens. She quit her well-paying job back in October 2021 and is now preparing to start graduate school this fall. I asked if she ever regretted leaving that job. She replied, “Not really. I only regret not starting grad school earlier—or not quitting sooner.” Then she added with a smile, “Well, better late than never.” I couldn’t agree more. She also shared a recent decision that made me proud. Someone was organizing a birthday celebration for a friend of hers, and the total cost—gift, museum tickets, and a fancy dinner—would have added up to $200 or $300. That was beyond her budget, so she politely declined and explained why. The organizer, a lawyer herself, understood and suggested a less expensive venue. I admire my daughter for setting boundaries—not out of selfishness, but out of clarity. Saying “no” is more about self-respect than anything else. Only when we honor our own limits...
Post a Comment
Read more