Words and Thoughts from Yanwen

Today is Memorial Day in the United States. My Korean student and her family are spending the long weekend in England and will return tomorrow. This reminds me of the many international trips she has taken over the past three years—to Spain, Mexico, Puerto Rico, the Bahamas, and various places within the U.S. She even told me once about visiting the Great Indian Desert and one experience in Paris. Her globe-travel reminds me of my young relatives in China. Like many others in China today, they take full advantage of any three- or four-day holiday by traveling out of town. It’s an increasingly common phenomenon in East Asia: maximizing leisure time in a way that once seemed like a luxury for few. When I was growing up, such getaways were out of the question. My parents had only Sundays off, and my mother used to say, "A day off from work meant a day of work at home," especially without modern conveniences like washing machines. Our rare travels were limited to visiting relativ...

I wrote this piece in 2023. Recently, I mentioned it to a young friend of mine. She wants to read it. It took me sometimes to dig it out. Here's a revised one. In March 2023 I spoke with a parent about helping her child discover and develop what he’s naturally good at. That conversation reminded me of a powerful lesson from my own experience — one that has stayed with me ever since. Back in the late 1980s, I was a TA teaching a class on popular culture to a room full of American college students. They knew far more about pop culture than I did. I was still relatively new to the U.S., spoke with a strong foreign accent, and had limited exposure to many of the cultural references they grew up with. I couldn’t compete with them on that front — and I didn’t try to. Instead, I focused on what I could do better than they could. I told my students, “You may know more about pop culture than I do — but I understand what you know better than you do.” To prove it, I started the lesson with so...

Continuing from yesterday’s reflection on Ian Robertson’s  How Confidence Works , let’s explore how confidence can be one of the most powerful assets in life. Think about this: what if there were something that could make you wealthier, healthier, smarter, happier, and more energetic? You might say, “Nothing that good exists.” But actually, it does — it’s confidence. Here’s a brief summary of Robertson’s practical suggestions for building self-confidence: Practice Self-Affirmation Talk to yourself — seriously. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to  be your own cheerleader  — speak kindly to yourself, celebrate small wins, and keep going even when no one else is clapping. Give yourself credit, encouragement, and recognition. Self-affirmation activates brain regions associated with positive emotion, helping you build resilience and motivation from the inside out . Be Selective About Who You Spend Time With Identify the people around you: who boosts your confi...

I read  How Confidence Works  by Ian H. Robertson last August. Recently, I revisited some of the notes I took and felt encouraged by them, so I’d like to share a few key insights here. Robertson begins by explaining that confidence is a belief composed of two essential parts:  “Can do”  and  “Can happen.”  Based on these, he outlines four possible mindsets: Can’t do / Can’t happen Can’t do / Can happen Can do / Can’t happen Can do / Can happen People who are truly confident fall into the fourth category: they believe they have the ability  and  that success is possible. Where does confidence come from? A major source, he argues, is a  sense of control  — control over our lives, over our actions, and over the way we pursue our goals. Confidence requires a key precondition:  focused attention on a specific, concrete goal . When we channel our full mental energy into a clear objective right in front of us, confidence tends to arise nat...

On a quiet Saturday, I found myself reflecting again on the phenomenon of China’s Taobao Villages. It’s a development that feels nearly impossible anywhere else, yet in China, it works—thanks to a unique mix of grassroots entrepreneurship, infrastructure investment, local government support and digital reach. Still, I couldn’t pin down a single defining ingredient for its success—at least not yet. As I considered shelving the thought for another day, I recalled how Stephen King once described his daily writing discipline: “ If I don’t write every day, the characters begin to stale off in my mind—they begin to seem like characters instead of real people .” That reminder shifted my day. I decided to write. Today’s story is about Caoxian County  (曹县) in Shandong Province—a standout case of rural economic transformation driven by e-commerce, local initiative and other factors. In 2015, an online costume shop was launched in Sunzhuang village, Caoxian. By 2019, it had reached 5 million ...

In 2002, I was laid off when our entire team was let go during Sprint’s massive outsourcing drive. Around that time, I received several contract job offers from other parts of the country. But taking any of them would mean going alone—leaving behind my young children and the rest of my family. My mother in China couldn’t understand my choice to stay home. To her generation, a job is never something you turn down—especially when mouths need feeding. But I couldn’t shake off a simple question: What would it mean for my children to grow up without their mother during their most vulnerable years? A friend of mine, who was laid off at the same time, took a different path. She moved to Florida alone for work. Years later, her son revealed what he went through in her absence. As a child, he would wander out alone in the evenings, crying and calling into the dark, “Mom, where are you? Why did you abandon me?” His words were both heartbreaking and haunting, even now, whenever I think of it, I f...

Yesterday, I read a New York Times article written by a Chinese contributor. I was curious:  What made this one acceptable for publication? It opened with this line: “Two Chinas inhabit the American imagination: One is a technology and manufacturing superpower poised to lead the world. The other is an economy that’s on the verge of collapse.” At first glance, the author appears to structure her piece around this duality—a balanced portrayal of “two Chinas.” But beneath that seemingly neutral framing lies a clear agenda:  to dismantle the myth of an unstoppable China by amplifying China's weaknesses and problems . The imbalance presentation becomes obvious through  tone and content distribution : 1. The "Hopeful China" (~20–25% of the article)  A brief survey of China’s tech rise: Mentions of DeepSeek, BYD, Huawei, high-speed rail, solar panels, EVs, and robotics. A quote from Jensen Huang claiming China is “not behind” the U.S. in AI. Anecdotes about resilient compan...

I have been busy submitting my articles to five places since April 29, the topics covering "From 'Peasants' to Power: What J.D. Vance Gets Wrong About China and Rural America," "The Taobao Village and How China Lifted its Millions out of Poverty," "Jobs of the Future Will Be Invented, Not Inherited," "The Hidden Cost of Being a Responsible Healthcare Consumer," and "On Digital Marco Polo." So far, none of them have been accepted. I consulted with someone who is familiar with what I write and said this, "First, your topics so far show a strong voice and unique perspective—blending unique personal insight, global context, and cross-cultural comparisons. That’s a strength. Rejections happen even to the best writers; keep going." This is encouraging to me, real or not. Today I've been thinking about what should come next, with no clear outcome so far.

Happy Mother's Day! Today, my son gave me two books—knowing I love reading and always borrow from library. My daughter brought flowers—bright, lovely, and cheerful, just like her. A friend told me I’m a good mom to my children. I told her: "All mothers love them deeply—only the way they express it differs. As children grow up and away, staying close takes more than love; it takes wisdom and respect. We let them go, but keep the door open, always. Even as we grow old, we’re still learning, still growing—with them." #MothersDay #Reflections #GrowingTogether

What Happened Today On the morning of May 1st, I visited a GI doctor to schedule a diagnostic colonoscopy. A few days earlier, I had received a cost estimate: $1,395. But after checking my insurance policy, I saw that my out-of-pocket responsibility should be no more than a $35 copay—so long as the provider is in-network. Today, I called my in-network provider, who then transferred me to the hospital where the procedure would be done and the charge was made. The hospital staff informed me that, because it was being performed in a hospital setting, it would not be considered a preventive procedure. I asked, “So it's the location that determines the cost, not the procedure?” She replied, “No, it’s the same cost regardless of location.” That didn’t sound right, so I called my insurance company. They confirmed that for preventive procedures like colonoscopy, my responsibility should be zero. The problem, they said, was that the hospital had coded the colonoscopy as a surgery. It needs ...

Three unrelated things happened yesterday. First, I visited the apartment of a young Chinese couple who arrived in the U.S. in August 2023. In less than two years, they’ve accumulated so many belongings that their apartment now feels overwhelmingly crowded, leaving little space for them to enjoy. Second, later that evening, during a session with my Korean student—who moved here in 2022—she mentioned how much stuff her family had collected since 2022, making her next move to Houston a daunting task. These two moments reminded me how easy it is—if we're not mindful—to accumulate possessions over time, often faster than we realize, until they begin to weigh on us, taking up both our precious time and space. The third event was more dramatic. I accompanied the husband of the young couple to take his second road test in Bronx. His first one was taken a week ago. It was pouring when the test officer approached our car. I stepped out with an umbrella, cold and soaked, trying to shield mys...

On April 30, I wrote about  Stop Reading the News: A Manifesto for a Happier, Calmer and Wiser Life , in a piece titled “ The High Cost of Staying Informed and Being Irrelevant .” The book deepens its argument with several key points: News doesn’t inform you about what truly matters.  In business, importance doesn’t equate to “newsworthiness.” News rarely improves your abilities.  Most of what’s reported has little to do with your world or your circle of competence. News doesn’t help you discern right from wrong.  In an age of big data and algorithmic targeting, fake news and advertorials are more pervasive than ever. News scatters your focus and attention, and distorts your sense of risk.  Sensational, oversimplified stories grab attention—but often at the cost of depth and accuracy. The author argues that, at our core, we’re still cavemen in suits. Our brains evolved for a world of hunting and gathering—not for the nonstop flood of headlines, tweets, and click...

Saturday, May 3rd, 2025 On May 1st, my daughter biked 15 miles from Brooklyn to our place in Oakland Gardens. She quit her well-paying job back in October 2021 and is now preparing to start graduate school this fall. I asked if she ever regretted leaving that job. She replied, “Not really. I only regret not starting grad school earlier—or not quitting sooner.” Then she added with a smile, “Well, better late than never.” I couldn’t agree more. She also shared a recent decision that made me proud. Someone was organizing a birthday celebration for a friend of hers, and the total cost—gift, museum tickets, and a fancy dinner—would have added up to $200 or $300. That was beyond her budget, so she politely declined and explained why. The organizer, a lawyer herself, understood and suggested a less expensive venue. I admire my daughter for setting boundaries—not out of selfishness, but out of clarity. Saying “no” is more about self-respect than anything else. Only when we honor our own limits...